I am a hugger. I love to cuddle kids and give them hugs and kisses and tell them I love them.
I work in a predominantly male, children's home. This is a conflict at times.
When I first started there I took a bit of time but it wasn't long before I wanted to hug and kiss them all the time because they were so darn cute! And they do need it. The female staff member is always with the girls so the boys weren't exposed to much lovey dovey affection.
At first they fought it. Outwardly anyway. Then they gradually began to accept it. They figured I wasn't going to quit. And to be honest: they really do love it and need it. They often taunt me by saying I haven't given them a hug yet that day. They know I am immediately coming after them then! Lately there have been 2 of the medium boys who have been really needy. Seeking me out and accepting my attention and affection for as long as I am willing to give it. That has got to be the best part of my job.
But there has been one boy in particular who has really been resisting it. So much so that I got to the point where I thought he might be serious and not just pretending he didn't want it. He seemed to sense when I was about to attack (I sometimes have to just grab them and kiss them really fast. It usually ends up on their neck or on hands that are protecting their face) and he would run away. Today I was working on the computer after lunch and the kids were watching some stuff on the computer next to me. Well, I was trying to work. I kept hearing "Tia Naomi, look" and then I would have to see the next cool thing that came up. To be honest, the video was pretty neat. It was about nature and the amazing way that God created everything. Anyway, when I got distracted I would start to lean on the back of this boys chair. Then I leaned my chin on his head. Or I just put my hand on the back of his neck (my hands were really cold and I wanted to warm them up. I actually thought it would bug him too but it didn't!). Then he was eventually leaning against me and I kept my arm around him in a hug. This went on for a long time. In between my "working".
I am just happy that he was accepting of it. And seemed to want it again. Appropriate physical affection is such an important part of our development, even more so for these kids who have been rejected and abused. I am just glad I get to be the person that gives out that affection. :)
So it made me happy. I will continue on in my quest to give the most hugs and kisses ever.
And tomorrow the girls are coming to my house for the evening!! That will be exciting. I love having them over. Pictures to come!
P.S. I know this post could sound a little weird if you don't know me. I am very aware that they are boys and that a lot of them have an unfortunate history with sexual abuse. I am careful. There are always other people around and everyone is subject to the same amount of love. They are never required to hug or kiss me but I love it when they do! I actually had to teach a couple of them how to kiss! They would just put their lips on my cheek. I had to show them that you have to make the sound! Too funny.
