Monday, February 27, 2012

Quality vs. Quantity.

There is a lot of need here in Guatemala. The people are poor and largely uneducated. If they make it to grade 6, that is a big accomplishment here. They live on very little each day and a lot of them are just barely staying alive. They make "coffee" from burnt corn tortillas. They believe old wives tales. They respect their elders find new ideas from outsiders difficult to accept.

A friend of mine here (Canadian) told me a story about her Guatemalan friend who had to have a C-section. The incision was vertical instead of horizontal. That alone is enough to make you shake your head. But when my friend went to visit her, she noticed that this new mother wasn't talking to her and the husband was responding to all their questions and comments. Once they left the room, my friend asked why she hadn't been talking. The answer was, the surgeon had told them that the mother could not speak for the first 24 hours because air would get in her stomach and cause problems. Even if you are not a medical person, you realize how ridiculous this is. And this happened about 2 years ago.

I will not change the world while I am down here. I cannot feed everyone and I cannot educate everyone. So, do I take in a whole bunch of special needs children and give them a better quality of care than they would receive at home, but not great, or do I take in few children and give them the best that I can?

I wrestled with this.

When I was much younger, I wanted to have a big farmhouse and take in all the kids that nobody wanted. I assumed at that point that I would be married before doing it thus making me a stay at home mom a possibility. Once I got older, I realized that those types of children are often abused and angry at the world and I would have no clue how to deal with them. And I wasn't married. So there went that plan.

At some point when I was young I knew that I wanted to be a missionary. So much so, I thought that by the time I was old enough, they wouldn't need any more missionaries. I have always had the "prepare for the worst" kind of attitude. And yet I got older, got a good nursing job, and got myself into debt. So I couldn't be a missionary.

I graduated high school with a girl who had cerebral palsy. She had only the use of her neck and minimal arm movement. But intellectually, she is probably smarter than I am! I became friends with her and imagined how hard life could be for her. And yet, I never heard her complain, even when I worked for her.

I started working in a children's hospital and met Channah and her family. She was 5 years old and had severe cerebral palsy. Every day that I worked for the next 3 1/2 months, I worked with her. I fell in love with her and saw close up how a family could love and include their child with disabilities in every day life.

So I decided that I would foster special needs kids in Canada.

But then I was still in debt and unmarried. Not a good mix for someone who just wants to stay at home and take care of kids with special needs. Who would support me? Who would help me with the heavy load?

But I still wanted to be a missionary. What the heck was I going to do??!! I remember the day in October of 2008 when I prayed and asked God what I should do. Do I stay in Canada and continue nursing? Do I stay in Canada and foster kids with special needs? Do I go to Guatemala? It seemed that my heart wanted to do it all, and I couldn't see the way. But I felt God call me to Guatemala. I was 28. It had taken a long time to follow God's plan and I had learned some very valuable lessons in the waiting.

When I arrived in Guatemala I had no plan. Maybe work in a clinic? Tried that. My heart wasn't there. Then I found out about a home for kids with special needs. And I wanted with all my heart to work closely, every day with those kids. I spent 5 months learning and loving on those children. I realized God was calling me to start my own home. So I went to Rehoboth Children's Home to learn about administration and I was closely discipled by the couple running the Home.

I have now started my own plans. I have a name for the Home. I have a plan for the next year. I know what the next step is. And I only just realized a few weeks ago that God is giving me the desires of my heart from long ago. I am going to have that "farmhouse" and I am taking in children that will be abandoned and mistreated. I will be working with special needs kids every day. And not just working with them, they will be my family. I have felt heavily on my heart the number 8. I will have 8 kids in my home. And I will give them my all. I am not married but I will have staff here to help me with the heavy load. And I won't be able to save them all, no one ever could, but I will make the best life possible for these children that God will place in my care.

God already knows who these 8 children will be. He loves them. And he wants to give them to me to care for. I will be honest; it scares me! I have never been a mother. I have never been solely responsible for another human being. And caring for special needs children takes a lot of money. But I know God loves me and has it all planned out. He is not worried when I decided to freak out about it. He has put in me the desire of a special family, and that is now coming into fruition. How exciting!

So please continue to pray for me. Pray for the children I will bring home. Pray that I find the right house and I find the right staff who will love these children as much as I will.

I am sorry this is a bit long. But I really wanted to share my heart and show you where this whole crazy idea started. I know that things will change. Maybe the 8 will grow into more. Maybe not. Maybe someone from North America will come down to help me. Maybe not. My job is just to keep walking as the Lord leads me. I have such a peace and excitement about my future. Even in the midst of my panic attacks (which are thankfully lessening for now).

So enjoy folks! God bless.

Naomi