It's NOT beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Hello folks. 

Less than 2 weeks to Christmas and it feels a little weird. I see fake Christmas trees and cheesy christmas decorations in the streets but I just can't feel the magic when it is so green and hot out! And the big Christmas trees in each square of the towns is sponsored by Gallo, the Guatemalan beer. So the trees are covered in Gallo symbols and it is basically advertising. Way to get into the spirit! 

And maybe because I don't see or feel the magic I am not missing home as much as I could be. It feels strange to see everyone's Christmas party pictures on Facebook, and their Christmas tree pictures. I am at Ruth's house again and her house is decorated and her tree is up. And we made whipped shortbread yesterday so that helped me feel a little more Christmasy. :) I am now inspired to go home and bake my little heart out! I picked up a bunch of recipes from Ruth and there is always the internet for finding recipes. As long as I can find all of the ingredients here!

I also now officially have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day plans! I was getting worried as many people asked what I was doing for Christmas (a lot of people thought I would be going home for Christmas) and when I said nothing, there would be this awkward silence. But now I will be eating with the kids at the home where I volunteer on Christmas Eve, then heading to my church for the Christmas Eve service. After, I will spend the night at my friend Amy's house. She is about my age and is single as well. So we won't have to wake up alone on Christmas morning!!! The next day, we will go together to our pastor's children's home and eat Christmas dinner there. So I am excited about it! And I even have a few presents to open. When Taraleigh came down in Sep. she brought presents from her, my mom, and my friend Amy (in Canada). Yay for family and friends who think in advance! Not everyone knows that it is difficult for me to receive mail here. 

I need to update you all on what I have been up to these last several weeks! I will do it in another post as this is my Christmasy post. :)

Merry Early Christmas!!!!

I just ate some chocolate chips. Yum.

Here I sit on the couch wasting time playing on Facebook. So I thought I had better write a post. 

A couple of months ago I was lamenting in my head that I had nothing to write about in my blog and how sad for my followers. Now I have a lot to write about and I am just not doing it! Shame on me. :(

I have now been in Chimaltenango for a month. Well, on Monday it will be a month. :) I love, love, love my apartment. It sits on the highway which is a 2 lane road of madness that leads into (and consequently, out of) Chimal. My room sits right in front of it. Lucky me. After a week of waking up at 5 (yes, 5 in the MORNING) to the symphony of bus horns, I got used to the noise. I can now successfully sleep until I feel like it. Or until my alarm goes off. I think God has blessed me with the gift of sleep. Yay! 

My place sits on top of a motorcycle parts shop. And the repair shop is right next door. And the new repair shop is being built out behind my place. My view while making lunch was two guys bending rebar on the wall. Fun? Awkward? You choose. 

You walk into the front door and enter the kitchen. A fairly good size room with a whole inch of counter space bordering the sink.  At least I have a table to work on! This kitchen gets used often due to the fact that I can't go out at night to buy fast food. :) I don't have a vehicle (yet) and it is too dangerous to walk around by myself after dark. I make waffles with chocolate chips, chicken and pineapple pizza, fried egg and cheese sandwiches. Hmmm. Who needs fast food to keep my stomach diameter on the rise??!! I also got a fridge at a really great deal. I was so proud of myself. It was used but by a cafe run by North Americans so I figured it would be in okay shape. Didn't realize until I got it here that there were no shelves in it!!!!! Just the fruit drawer at the bottom. What a steal! :)

The one problem with the sink is that you have to turn the tap the wrong way to turn it on and off. After 4 weeks of being here I STILL get it wrong about 97% of the time. Even when I consciously think about it!!

Then you walk into the living room (the three rooms are in a straight line). I have a couch, 2 arm chairs and a TV! With lots of cable. I pretty much just watch one channel. It is english programs with subtitles. I am supposed to be relaxing!!! I don't want to try and understand the cheesy, cheesy spanish soap operas. :) It is a bunch of shows like NCIS, CSI, Criminal Minds, etc. I have become a little hooked on Criminal Minds. Which surprises me because it often scares me! I think the living room is the smallest.

The bedroom is last. It is an okay size for me. Bigger than my place in Kamloops! And I have 2 dressers! Which is great. I bought my own bed. I was only going to buy a double because I thought I wouldn't be too selfish and get a queen. But then a friend of mine said that it is hard to get good sheets for a double in the States. I figured I wouldn't take the chance that it was the same in Canada. And the sheets here are..... Ridiculous!!!! I had to wear my pants tucked into my socks at night because the sheets felt so terrible that I kept waking up! Apparently I am a princess because Taraleigh had no problem when she came. Hmmm. Anyway, I am going to buy sheets when I get home. Right now Maureen is letting me use hers. It is so nice to sleep sockless again! 

The bathroom is below my kitchen. So I have to go outside and down the stairs to get to it. And it is TINY! I stand in the shower to brush my teeth in front of the sink. But it works. The shower head is new so it is great. Going to the bathroom at night used to be a problem. They go down in a circle so I had to walk underneath two spiderwebs that housed 2 large spiders. I don't know if they jump but I didn't want to find out. I admit it, I ran underneath them. I also didn't want to look up because if they were to "jump" I didn't want them to land in my eye. So I bought Raid and was afraid to use it. I thought if I hit them with not enough and they fell and then I couldn't find them anymore and then what would I do! They would just pop up in some unexpected place! But I tell you, Raid is your friend!!!! I just sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and they tried to run but eventually just curled up in a dead little ball in their web. Which bothered me to see their dead bodies. But not as much as seeing their live bodies! They are gone now. YAY! The construction guys must have seen it and got rid of it. They sweep my steps every day when construction materials fall on it. How great is my landlord!!! (I forgot to mention he owns the moto repair and parts shops and is building the new one. So he gets them to sweep it for me.) He also carried my big 5 gallon water jugs up the stairs for me. And when I moved in he got the construction guys to help with my bed, fridge and all my stuff. He is very thoughtful. 

There are also 2 other families living in this little area. There is a main door on the highway and when you enter it (next to the shop) there is a long driveway and another small apartment with a family there. And then a bigger house with another family. The house has the brother and his family, the apartment has the sister and her family, and my landlord is another brother. Maureen has known this family since she arrived in Guatemala 19 years ago. So I feel good about living here. They are trustworthy and very kind!

I can walk to the children's home every day which is really nice. It takes about 20-25 minutes depending how tired I am. The bus takes about 3 minutes but I don't like to wait for it and I don't really think there is a schedule for the in-town buses. Not that I can figure out anyway. Which is also not surprising. 

I will write more about my work in another post. Just want to mention that it is a volunteer position. I will be with them until March 31 when I will go home for a visit. 

So that is a little glimpse into my living space. I love it! And it is much cheaper to live here than in Antigua. So I can't complain there. :)

My next post will be on the summer camp I attended this week with the kids. It was great! Tiring but so worth it to see the smiles on the kids faces. Real joy at the simple things, simple bits of attention from others. Makes me embarrassed to not always find the joy in interacting with others. So stay tuned! 

Cute lil' story.

The kids from the boys and girls home that my pastors run stand at the church exit every week with a big plastic container for donations. They regularly visit an old folks home and a home for kids with AIDS and the donations go towards buying snacks etc. 

So today we had some visitors from the U.S. When I was headed to the back door I saw the boy with the container and THE biggest smile on his face saying to another adult "they put a bill from the U.S. in" He even let us peek in to see it but his smile was the best! I loved it. 

I also was picked up this morning by another couple who attend our church who had some of the girls from the home in their van. I was waiting for the bus and not paying attention when the van stopped beside me. In my best ignoring stance I refused to look in it. Then I heard my name being yelled from within the vehicle. :) Anyway, there was a little girl in there named Marisol and she is 3. The perfect age and size in my opinion. We walked into church together holding hands. Then I started tickling her and pulled her onto my lap. It was the best feeling. I regularly tickle my friends girls at home and I had forgotten how good it felt! If I could have taken her home I really would have. She was very chatty and had a constant smile. 

A lot has happened this week. I have a new job in a new city, with a new apartment, a new fridge and tomorrow I will buy a new mattress. Actually, the fridge is "new to me". What a funny saying! Just say used! I may have ranted about this once before. :) And amazing things happened along with all this new stuff. But I don't have time to write about it now as I am packing. Or going to pack. Or gearing up to pack. Or avoiding packing. 

As always, there are mixed emotions about leaving. I am very excited to start a new job and have my own apartment. I have been wanting my own space for a while. But, I have been with this family for 5 1/2 months and I feel very comfortable here. My "mother" eats my onions for me, she ironed my blouses the other day when I asked to borrow the iron, (thank goodness for that! The last time I ironed something was a work Christmas party in 2004. I bought a new shirt, washed it and decided to iron it. It was some weird material and I melted a line into it! I was so sad.) and regularly go out of their way for me. I will not be far and I will still visit them but I may feel lonely for a bit. Ummmm. Or not. :)

So those with kids, pull then onto your lap and tickle them for me tonight! I may have to go visit Marisol and the others. They are only a 10 min. bus ride from my new place.

My church.

This is just a post about... can you guess? My church!!! 

A friend took me there the first time and to be honest, I wasn't immediately sold. Maybe I thought I had to make my own decision and not just go because someone else like it. I did try a few others and I painfully admit that there were a few Sundays where I didn't go and it didn't bother me that much. I missed my church in Kamloops. Obviously, I like that church. I have been attending that church since 2000 (when I have been living in Kamloops). I know the people, I know the routine, I know the language! 

But now I don't like to miss a Sunday. It takes place in a large room built onto a house. Whose house that is I have no idea. I always forget to ask. But the doors are always open and the fans are always going (thank goodness! It gets very hot and stuffy in there!). So we have had a few different times where a dog has coming trotting down the aisle to see what is going on. 

There are definitely more Guatemalans than North Americans that attend. My pastors are from the U.S. (Victor and Chici) and have been here for about 20 years I think. Sometimes though, there are visiting teams and the seats are taken up. Twice (!) I have had to sit in the second row from the front. Not my favorite!

We worship in Spanish only. It has been interesting for me to watch my language progression based on my understanding of what I am singing. I am able to "worship" again and not just sing the words. I really love my worship leader at home and the guy here is very passionate but sometimes comes in a little late on the beat. :) And everyone sings loud and doesn't worry about what they sound like. I know I am not a good singer so that has kept me lip syncing for most of my life. Unless I am alone in my car. I have started to sing a little louder now. God is looking inside, not outside. Something I am STILL learning.

We have a Bible reading in Spanish. We all stand up to read at that point. It reminds me of sword drills when I was a kid! And one day when I was in the second row from the front I found it really quick and didn't have to be too embarrassed by having everyone see me stand up last. Not that I think anyone really pays attention or cares. 

Then we have announcements in Spanish and English and prayer for the offering. The praying is my favorite part. The person at the front leads in prayer but as soon as she starts to pray out loud, so does everyone else! So no one is listening to what she is saying, everyone is focused on their own individual prayers. Sometimes I get the feeling that people pray out loud and are very aware of others listening so they modify it for their audience. Not here. 

The sermon is given in English and translated into Spanish by the most amazing woman! Victor sometimes starts talking and gets onto a point and doesn't stop for a while. I sometimes try to remember what he has said and I never remember it all. She is amazing. Very occasionally she will react to what he is saying, but not often. Yesterday I laughed as he was talking about a church here in Guatemala that solicits large amounts of money on TV. He said that people will go up and give their family dog. At this point she turns to him and says "Ay no!" It was cute. :) 

Victor is very blunt, funny and approachable. I appreciate his sermons although sometimes I think he is hitting the mark a little too often! In a good way though. I have a lot to learn. And Chici is great. I have met with her a few times and she makes me feel so comfortable. She is concerned for me and I feel like she is looking out for me.

So that is a little glimpse into my church. Someday I will write about my work at the clinic, the school (that is done now) and what is coming up for the future. But it is suppertime soon and I have leftovers from lunch yesterday (good thing too-I saw the beans cooking earlier!)

Bye!

Buses. With chickens. And people. Lots of people

Today's post is brought to you by the vehicle..... camionetta! (I watched Sesame Street as a kid. :)

(I have a great picture of a bus but my internet connection is not good enough to load it. Sorry.)

La camionetta is an old U.S. school bus. AKA the chicken bus. They paint it different colors and use it all over the country. It is the bus system within the city as well as to other towns all over. I have ridden them a LOT! They may not always be the safest (from what I hear) but that is how I get around! 

I use them mostly to get half-way to the clinic (I meet friends and they drive me the rest of the way) or to get to church on Sundays. Those are my most uneventful rides. It is usually pretty empty and it only take about 4 minutes to get there (once I walk the 15 minutes to the bus stop).

To get to San Lucas on clinic days I walk to the market (well, it is a little farther now as they recently changed the bus stops) and it is about a half hour bus ride. It is through the mountains and the roads are very twisty. And it is uphill but these drivers can fly! I would love to know our actual speed sometimes! Well, the first day I went I had a bit of a laugh at myself. I never wear skirts but to the clinic I do. So I had this skirt and it had a second lining underneath (this is relevant later). We start whipping around the corners and either someone had Armor-all'd the seats that day to make them slippery or the extra lining in my skirt was making me a little more mobile! I was sitting next to a guy and trying to stay on my side of the seat and it was literally impossible! I was holding on with all my might! I can't even adequately explain it to you. But I slid into the guy, into the aisle, into the guy, etc for the next 15 min. I was kind of embarrassed. 

Sometimes it is actually better to have more people in your seat. If there are 3 people on each side then everyone just holds each other up. The aisles are so narrow and I have to turn sideways to get up and down them. So people sitting in the aisle seats just lean up against the person next to them. One day that backfired on me. I was the third in the seat (sticking out into the aisle) and a rather large lady got on. She sat down in the next seat and somehow she was sitting on top of my hip. It really hurt! And she kept getting up to let people on so I finally realized if I leaned into the person next to me until she had settled then my hip wouldn't be so squished. But then we left Antigua and she didn't care where she was. I am sorry for this next description. My mother won't think it is very missionary of me. :) One of each of her cheeks was on each seat so she was kind of suspended in the air. When we started the whip she didn't even try to stay in one place. There was no way I could hold both of us off the guy next to me! Very awkward, that is for sure!

The other funny thing is that you look in front of you and when we turn a corner and everyone leans the other way (to counter balance). Sometimes their heads are at a 50-60 degree angle with the ground (that is my highly mathematical equation) and then when we straighten out everyone all at once will lift off their seat and re-settle in their spot. Doesn't sound as fun once I have written it down but it amuses me on my commute. :) 

One day the helper (who takes the money and throws things on top of the bus) was collecting money and he was leaning against the seat behind me (he takes the money while we are driving). I was again the third in the seat and we went around a corner and I couldn't hold on well enough. I fell into his leg/hip and literally had him pinned there! I felt him trying to move away. So embarrassing! Really. I try to especially avoid physical contact with men here but I couldn't help it. 

I went to visit some friends down south in Tecuaco. It requires three buses and takes about 3 1/2 hours. I went with some friends the first time and it was full but fairly uneventful. The next time I went solo. There were so many people on the bus! I had gone a little later in the morning on a Saturday and it was insanely full. I ended up standing the whole first hour long bus ride. I was pushed to the very back where they had taken out the back row of seats to hold more things. Or people. I was back there with 10 other men. This was the only time I have been really uncomfortable. The men tend to me shorter than me and the guy next to me was a bit creepy. We were very squished. I count things. A little weird. But anyway, I counted the people on the bus at one point. There were 82 of us (not counting the driver, helper and all of the children that I KNOW were sitting on their parents laps but I couldn't see). That is a full bus. The helper was literally hanging out of the bus holding on. Then they kept opening the door behind me to put stuff on and take it off. One time a guy jumped on the back of the bus and it started driving and he opened the door to get in but realized there was no room. So he was trying to hold onto the bus and the door. Finally they got it closed. All while driving very quickly down the road. I wish everyone could experience it. It is bizarre.

The next bus ride was equally as squishy but I was able to stay at the front of the bus this time (much better!). At one point there was a lady who had been standing and she moved forward to get off (this is something to watch too. The aisles are so full of people you almost have to jump over people to get out. There are no words for it. Then add a lot of heat, a lot of sweat, and a little bit of deodorant. Oh right, and arms up in the air to hold on. Picture that one with your nose!). As she got to the front I saw her talk to a couple of older ladies who were sitting in the front seat. She leaned over and one of the ladies reached up and handed the mother her baby! The lady had probably offered to hold her baby since she was standing! I loved it. There is a lot of helping and courtesy to be seen on these buses. Especially as you go more remote. Men get up for women, people without children will get up for people (men or women) holding children. Once, the teenager next to me offered to hold a child on her lap for a mom that had about 3 kids so they could squish more people on the bus. That was a sketchy one. I was in the front seat and could see the people. The helper was literally holding the people in the bus door (the bus doors are rarely shut). And yet they always manage to stop for more people! It is amazing. Older people are taken care of. People are willing to help put packages on the racks to help someone. There are so many things I could tell. 

I have heard the stories of robberies, earrings ripped out of ears, kidnappings, car/bus accidents, and how in general the buses are not safe. I know these things happen but there are always a few bad people that will make a people or a culture look bad. For all the pushing and apparent selfishness I have seen, there are good people out there. There is a very pervasive fear here. My teachers and other Guatemalan friends are always telling me to be careful and give me advice. Yesterday my host mother told me that Lucia, her daughter who lives here (22 years old), was robbed at gunpoint on Wed. morning. It happens to a lot of people. And one day will probably happen to me. 

So I keep my eyes open and I don't do really stupid things (although once my bag was out of my sight for a while and I did a LOT of praying that is would still be there when I got off. Thank you God that is was) I know that God has brought me here and is in control. This does not give me a free pass to ultimate security. But He is still with me wherever I am and I chose to be safe in Him. Someone could break into my house so I can't stop it. So I can't live my life in fear down here. Wow, this was supposed to be a funny post about buses. I have digressed.

Often people get on the buses for a few minutes to sell things. Jello in a cup, candies, gum, newspapers, pen's, nuts, pencils, stencil things, chips, drinks, etc. They got on and go up and down the row selling things then get off at the next stop. The Jello looks good to me but I don't think I will ever actually buy and consume one. No bathrooms on the buses. :)

To get the bus to stop at a certain place you need to go up to the front of the bus and let him know you are getting off. Once, I was in a seat with another lady and I waned to get out and she didn't move. Usually they will get up or move their legs out of the way at least. She didn't so I had to literally climb over her. Then my sandal fell off. So she kindly grabbed it for me. Then I dropped it on the floor and it rolled under the seat so I had to get it out and put it on (oh, I forgot that my backpack got caught on the window as I started the climb as well), and by then we had passed the stop. And the next stop was the market so I had to sit down in the front seat and wait. I felt really stupid! Everyone saw my spectacle and then I had to sit and get off with everyone else anyway! Wow. 

One more story. This has already gotten long. When does it ever not??!! :)

I was taking the chicken bus up to Santa Maria where I was tutoring at the school for special needs kids. It was the most infuriating thing! There seemed to be no schedule (I would get on the bus at the market and usually wait about 45 minutes before they left. If I got there at the time we had left the day before I still had to wait 45 minutes. It is crazy!), they would come out at a different street at different times, they wouldn't always yell out the bus their destination (and if the sign on the bus is wrong-which it often is- then I wouldn't know to get on), and I would always end up getting there so late. So the teachers told me about the micro-buses. They are the length and width of mini-vans but with about 15 seats. Narrow seats. So one day I went to the market and there was one right behind the bus. Lucky me! I got on and they left 5 minutes later. They leave every 20 minutes. I was amazed! I got there at an appropriate time! Not just arriving barely before recess! 

So the next day I go behind the bus to wait again. It is a bit sketchy behind the market. Not my favorite place to wait. So after a while I went and asked the driver when he was leaving. 45 minutes. The magic number. So I told him I would wait for the micro-bus. But they don't come through the market that day because it is a Monday. AHHHH! I had already asked another guy prior to that and he said that yes they would come. I went to the corner (a road where most of the buses leave to get out of the city. You just wait until yours comes by) to wait and saw a micro-bus just leaving. I have to tell you, I was so frustrated I just went home. It wasn't worth it! And the other thing is, the vans (micro-buses) don't have destinations and they don't always yell it out. You just have to know somehow. And they do! People will go get on when I haven't heard a word! Maybe one day I will really understand the bus system here.

The next time I was waiting (and it wasn't a Monday) and finally asked the bus driver again (I think he was leaving in 30 minutes that time). So I asked about the micro-bus again. He pointed me in the general direction and this man came up to be helpful. I thought he was drunk. Blood shot eyes, a little dirty, weavy walk, etc. So he (to be helpful) held up 8 and a half fingers to tell me the bus left at 8:30. I got a kick out of that. Anyway, then he offered to take me over to the bus. Not my first choice but I didn't know where I was going so I followed him. At the insistence of the bus driver as well. He actually did take me to the right place and was a  fairly nice guy. I was so very happy that I had finally figured out the most time-efficient way to get up there! I didn't have to wait at the corner and hope I wouldn't miss it and I knew they left regularly every 20 minutes. And it only costs 50 centavos more than the other bus. About 46 cents Canadian total.

Coming back down the hill we fit in a few people. Then a few more. Until I counted 26 people (and only 2 of those were children) in this van with seats that probably wouldn't fit 15 North Americans. The advantage of this was that we were so tightly squeezed in and I figured if we had an accident I would be very safe as I was NOT going to move anywhere. :) Seat belts are not worn here. I wear them if I am in the front seat on the highway though. 

So that is a small glimpse into my commuting life. You would have to ride them and see them to fully understand. 

So if you want to add an extra prayer of safety for me while riding the buses I won't ask you not to! Come to think of it, I hope my mom doesn't read the unsafe bit. :)

And there really are chickens on the buses. But I have only seen 2. One tucked up in the luggage rack, and the other tucked under the arm of a girl standing next to me on the bus. 

Just a cute story.

Today my friend Amy called. She had her twin girls there as well as her niece, 4 year old Abby. I adore all 3 of them. Being away from them and not watching them grow and change is the hardest part of being here.

So I asked Amy what they were doing tonight. She said she was meeting Elaine (her sister and my friend) at the mall to go shopping. A minute later Abby said she wanted to talk to me. Amy told me that. Then I heard Abby say "Never mind. I forgot she is in Guatemala." Amy asked what she was going to tell me. She wanted to tell me to meet them at the mall! I want to cry again right now just thinking about it! Normally I would have been all over that! Scratch that! I would have already been at Amy's house playing with them. So it is sad for me. But I am happy that she still remembers and loves me so much. She is so smart and sounds so grown up on the phone. 

The twins too. Jocelyn wanted to call me the other day to tell me she was in her "big girl panties". When they called she whipped down her pants and put the phone by her bum to "show" me. So they got on Skype and she was able to show me her panties. Then, she took those off too so I could pinch her bum! Good thing she hasn't forgotten that in the last 6 months! I love bum pinching! In a non-freaky way. Then Amy called me and we were talking on the phone so she left the room with the skype video on, and mine was on as well, and Jocelyn kept coming into the computer room to see me and talk to me. Love it! Sophia doesn't miss me as much but that doesn't matter. I am still going to hug her and squeeze her until she can't breathe when I get home! 

The end of October. Really????

I can't believe how fast time is passing. I haven't blogged in so long and feel very sad about that. This is not just for you readers, but for myself as well. To remember funny or sad or weird things that have happened to me. I often think "I should write this in my blog" but I just haven't been getting around to it. And even today I thought that it had been so long I didn't even know where to start! So I will start with the most recent and blog other stories and events from the past as I remember them.

Here in Guatemala the tourist visa is good for 3 months. After 3 months you can renew it in the City (Guatemala City) but after 6 months you are required to leave the country for 2 nights. My options were Mexico or Belize (as Honduras and El Salvador don't count. I don't know why). Mexico would have been a shorter bus ride but Belize sounded a little more exotic and fun. Beaches anyone??? My friend Ambre has been teaching down here and since the school year had just finished she was able to go with me. Yay! 

We had to be ready for the shuttle at 0345. In the morning. It was early! And I had meant to shower the night before and shave my legs but there was no water (!) so I had to get up even earlier to take care of that business. But really, at that time of the morning another 15 minutes would NOT have made that big a difference. 

The shuttle to the bus depot came at 4:10 a.m. and we arrived at 5:15, in time to catch the 5:30 bus to Puerto Barrios. It took almost 6 hours to get there. Ambre was able to sleep most of the trip but my body is betraying me in my old age. :) I used to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime, any position. No longer!  They played Fireproof as the movie and I was impressed first of all that it wasn't a scary movie (that was on the way home!) and second that it was a christian movie.

We checked into Migracion (not immigration-don't really understand the difference but we needed to check out of the country!) and got on the 1:00 p.m. boat to Punta Gorda, Belize. It was only an hour boat ride. I love water. I went fully into my happy place on that boat ride. It was sunny, muggy, windy, water smooth as glass, almost cloudless sky and that salty feeling you get on your skin. I don't have the pictures from Ambre yet but I will post some when I do. You can tell I am pretty happy. :) I was also lucky in that Ambre is a great picture taker and she got some good ones of me.

It was our intention to just stay in Punta Gorda for the two nights. We knew there were no beaches there but I had seen enough to know we would probably find something to do. We met a couple of guys who were working in Belize for the Peace Corps and they suggested we go on to Placencia. There were beaches (I was sold) and it was nicer. So we looked around in the stores while waiting for our bus. Not much there that is for sure! 

The bus to Independence was a chicken bus like they have here but the experience was totally different!!!! They are just old converted school buses. Anyway, this bus was just chugging along. No need to pass others at a high speed and fling us side to side while going around corners (I have a whole blog planned on just bus ride experiences here!). We noticed a different pace and attitude. Restful, slow, and 2 hours of Bob Marley playing through the bus speakers! Here in Guatemala you have to go to the front of the bus while it is still moving and tell them where to drop you off. In Belize, there were pre-determined stops so the bus would stop there and wait for people to get off. After a few seconds people would get up and get off. It really was weird. I kept thinking "Hurry, he will pull away from your stop if you don't".  That bus was about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Then we took a water taxi for 15 minutes to Placencia. We arrived at 6 p.m. after 14 hours of travel. It was a relief to get there! 

We found a hotel that was recommended to us. Prices were higher in Belize but I felt the price was reasonable for what we got. Then we went for dinner (the restaurant we ate in most of the time was amazing! The food made me very happy. Especially the french fries). The restaurant was right on the beach looking at the water. Our hotel was one building behind that. Close enough to the beach! It was dark by then and just as we finished eating the power went out. And it was pitch black! They found a couple of lights but it was still pretty dark. We went out onto the beach and it was clear and dark and I have NEVER seen stars like that. It was breath taking! Really. They were so bright and there were a couple of shooting stars. We sat in chairs just enjoying it. The temp. was very comfortable. 

The next day was overcast and we went for a walk. Placencia is a town of 900 according to the Lonely Planet. It is not an island but a peninsula so the width was probably less than a kilometer. And we walked from one end of the beach to the other quite easily and leisurely. It started to rain so we didn't finish our walk that day. 

We met a lady who was a native Belizean but had lived in the US for over 30 years as a nurse. She has family all over and told me to look out for her son and granddaughters when I am in Vancouver. :) She was sweet and had made cupcakes to sell to the tourists (from what I could tell, we made up at least 10-15% of the tourists that weekend). We sat and talked to her for quite a while. She was pretty funny. And blunt!

I caught up on some English TV watching. Mostly stuck to the movie channels so watched several endings of old movies. I am still ADD with my TV watching, if there was a commercial I HAD to change the channel. 

We were there 2 full days and didn't leave until 12:30 on the 3rd day. We walked, ate, sat on the beach, talked, and had a relaxing time.

One funny story! On Sunday morning (we got in Saturday night) I woke up early (not intentional) and went to the grocery store. As I was walking back a couple of guys started chatting with me. As I was leaving one guy said "And if you need a little (puts fingers to lips like a cigarette), just let me know". I said thanks and kept walking. I had to really bite my lip not to laugh out loud! 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning and I am being offered pot! I should have asked him where the nearest church was. :) 

We saw an hardware store and Ambre wanted to check it out. I am so thankful she did! It was like a hardware store, dollar store, and Wal-Mart all in one. I found my greatest treasure there. A Mickey Mouse waffle iron. Yes. That's right. It has 4 different images of Mickey that are made on the waffles. And it has the classic grid pattern on one side for those "adults" that may show up at my breakfast table.

Coming home we split the trip up into two days. Otherwise we would have arrived in Guatemala City at 9 p.m. and that is not really a safe thing to do. So we did everything in reverse but spent the night in Puerto Barrios. Our bus home was DELUXE! We paid 30Q more than on the way there (less than $4. more) and it was crazy nice! It was like sitting in a la-z-boy! Seriously! Just a little narrower. There was a leg thing that pulled down from in front so you could recline a lot and have your legs comfortably stretched out in front of you. The amount of space was phenomenal! It was leather and soft and cushy. I equate it to being hugged the whole way. I loved it. And the obligatory scary movie. My experience here has been a lot of scary movies on the Greyhound type bus lines. I had my iPod to drown it out though. 

We arrived yesterday afternoon about 3. I actually still have not cleaned up. But I did do my laundry! It was a great trip and I would love to do it again someday. Maybe next year but a little farther into November. That is when their weather starts to get consistently nicer. Bathing suit weather in other words. Although Ambre did get in the water for a while. 

I hope some of you made it to the end of this post! Sorry for my wordiness. One of my teachers in high school used to say my class had verbal diarrhea. When I told my pastor's wife that saying she laughed! She said she would use it. :) I have always paid attention to detail (as my close family and friends know. It is not OCD-it is attention to detail!) so I may as well share those details with the world. Trust me. I could have gone on a lot longer! And maybe I will another day.

I intend to blog for real one day.

Sorry guys! I am so behind. And I don't have time to do it right now. But this song was playing on my iTunes and I wanted to share the lyrics. Then maybe if you get lucky, tonight I will do a big update. Or tomorrow. Or......

There You Are

By Carolyn Arends.

I was hoping You would write to me a message in the stars

As if the stars themselves were not enough

And I awaited Your arrival here from someplace very far

As if I couldn't feel Your constant touch

Why did I think that You'd send thunder

To wake me from my slumber

When anytime I open up my eyes

There You are, loving me like crazy

There You are, I am unaware

There You are, when my heart is doubting

Even there You are

Well I was wishing for a miracle and waiting for a sign

As if each breath I take is not a gift

And I was acting just as if the way You gave your life for mine

Didn't have my foolish heart convinced

What did I think could cause this hunger

Did I ever stop to wonder

When anytime I open up my eyes

There You are, loving me like crazy

There You are, I am unaware

There You are, when my heart is doubting

Even there You are

I was hoping You would write to me a message in the stars

As if the stars themselves were not enough.

I only meant to eat half of the chocolate bar.

One of the students living in my house passed his entrance exams to start medical school in the Capital next year. I thought that deserved a congratulations present. I went to the store to buy him a Snickers. I asked for one. Then I asked for 2. Then I gave him one last night. And I just ate the other one right now. Supper is an hour and a half so I thought eating half would be a good thing. And half a chocolate bar IS a good thing. But do you know what is even better? A WHOLE chocolate bar. Maybe it will be beans tonight and I won't really want to eat anyway. :)

I started school again this week. And I had such a compliment today!!! My teacher said that the lightbulb seems to have turned on! I don't know what she was implying about the first 11 weeks that I studied but I will take it!! :) Maybe having a break let me just build on my base and now I feel like I can move onto the harder stuff and try it in real life. This week of school seems to have flown by for me! Which is unusual. I mean, we are talking about school here. But I am glad. I will study for the whole month of August. And I am looking forward to being able to say "should". It is a tense, not just a word. And I found out it is the last tense I will learn. But have you ever tried to explain the meaning of "should"? It is really hard. Try it some time. Then try it in a different language that you have not mastered. Fun times people!!!  

I don't fear going into stores anymore and I don't practice every sentence in my head before I say it when meeting new people. I have even thought in Spanish a few times so I MUST be getting something through my head. 

Also this week, I went back to the school I went to last week. On Monday the kids did these little choreographed dances (each grade did one) to welcome the group that was here from England. It was adorable!!! They were so cute in their little costumes and their little moves. I stupidly did NOT bring my camera. What was wrong with me??!!?? Then on Tuesday afternoon the group did a presentation for the parents and pastors in the community. There were a lot of people. And a lot of kids. I was sitting in a section that had free space behind me so of course the kids congregated there to play. So it was a bit noisy and I tried to not be distracted too much. One of the speakers has been blind since birth. She spoke about her experience. She had some books that her mom had made for her. They had writing and braille and had textured things to make the pictures. One was called "Where is Phillipa?" It had a door that opened, you looked under the bed, etc. It was pretty great. One man shared a lot of verses from the Bible talking about people with disabilities and sicknesses, about guilt, how to treat them, etc. It was good. And an occupational therapist talked about ways to relate and communicate with people with disabilities. 

Tomorrow I am going to meet with a nurse that I worked with when I did the surgical team. We are going for lunch. I met her daughter at the same time and she has been here in Antigua studying Spanish the last 6 or 7 weeks (and before we met as well). We have been trying out a bunch of restaurants. I recommend nachos at Rainbow Cafe and the chicken and cheese quesadilla at Sky Cafe. 

And I am finally going to see a movie in a theatre! One of the students in the house has gone to a theatre several times so he is taking me and another student and another friend into the city (Guatemala City). The other student in the house is a 62 year old Japanese man and he wanted to ride a chicken bus. So that is why we are going. :) It is a really cheap theatre (about $1.50) so they are probably old movies but that is okay. One day I am going to find someone to go see 'My Sister's Keeper' with me. 

Oh, and guess how long it took me to finish the bag of sour wine gums. Well maybe I won't tell you and let you give me the benefit of the doubt. :)

Take care all!!!!

Sour Wine Gums are sooooo yummy.

At the beginning of July I only had 2 bags of sour wine gums so one for July and one for August. I managed to wait until yesterday to open my August bag. I am pretty impressed with myself. They really are a very good candy. 

Last week I started volunteering in the afternoons at a place called Casa Jackson. It is a hospital/home for severely malnourished kids. There are only 7 kids right now but they have room for a lot more. There is a nurse present all the time. And the kids eat pretty much every 2 hours, even through the night. They drink a fortified milk for the snacks and something more substantial for meals. 

There is a lot to work on developmentally with these kids. One little guy is almost 4 years old and I think he was 24 lbs. when he came in 3 weeks ago. He doesn't talk. He makes a noise like a bird, kind of like the sea gull noise that Drew Barrymore makes in the movie Fever Pitch (it is a good movie if you haven't seen it). He also doesn't walk by himself. And there is a 2 1/2 year old (they think he is 2 1/2-was found on the street) that walks but is very short and doesn't talk either. They all have pretty severe stats. in terms of weight and height etc. 

So I am trying to work with them the best I can. Most of the volunteers have no training so mostly play with the kids and love on them. Which is good but they have to work on other stuff. The almost 4 year old was pretty fussy when I first made him walk but quickly went from 2 handed help to one hand. Then yesterday he walked by himself! I was so proud of him and gushed all over the place to let him know how great it was. He walked about 6 feet to the wall and 6 feet back and as I was watching him come back I could see his little legs just a shaking with all the exertion (kind of how my legs shake after I rock climb!). But I think he was excited about it. He just needs to practice to build strength. It won't take long. The speech is another matter. He has said a few words, he repeated "boca" (mouth) the first day I was with him. But the next day refused to talk at all. I tried! Yesterday he was better. I praise him all over the place when he says a word and he responds well to the attention. His comprehension seems fine. He just needs to practice his words as well. I am not a speech therapist but I hope to help him a little at least. The 2 1/2 year old also responds well to the attention when I praise him for talking. So I will keep at it with them. I hope to go 2-3 times a week in the afternoons after class. 

A funny thing happened at Casa Jackson. There was only one other volunteer and myself there yesterday. We took 4 of the kids up to the playroom and I took two up at once. They only weigh about 25 lbs. each. When we were getting ready to go downstairs I said to the other volunteer (she is 21 and has been there almost 2 months I think) that I wasn't going to take both at once as they had been hitting each other etc. She said to me that is was better if I only took one at a time. It was safer that way. HAHA! I am pretty confident with my baby handling but I didn't want to insult her so I didn't say anything. I had a good laugh in my head though. 

Last week I also went to visit the school of the nurse I wrote about a while ago (she has the school for kids with special needs). I went with Amy, she is an occupational therapist there and has been working there for 7 years (and she is my age. Well, she is in the '30' range but only about a year or two older than me. But I am still in my 20's!!!!). It ended up not being a normal class day for the kids so I basically just toured the school and they left early. We went to visit a couple of families in their homes. The school is in a small village outside of Antigua. I had gotten so used to being here that it surprised me again when we visited the houses. I had seen it before so it shouldn't have. But next week there is a group coming from England to hold workshops and presentations for 3 days about handicapped kids and integration. So I will go to those and I am looking forward to it. What I would like to do there is help tutor the kids one on one outside of the classroom. Some have physical handicaps, some have mental handicaps and some have learning disabilities. So it is something I have no experience in but I am excited to try it. 

Watching the kids practice their songs (they were doing dances to songs to prepare for the group that is coming) I ached again to work more with handicapped kids. My wish would be to have a kids home here for kids with mental and physical handicaps. That is not where I am feeling led right now but maybe later. I pray that that is in God's plan for me. 

I am trying to be better at updating this. And now I am finally doing fun things that I can write about!

Oh, and last night I was talking to a friend from home. She has twin girls who just turned 2 almost a month ago. She let me say hi to them quickly (they are talking so much more now!) but then she had to go to put them to bed. I got a phone call about 20 min later from Amy. Jocelyn was crying and sad and Amy was cuddling her and asked why. She said because she missed Nomi. AHHHHH! So she felt better after talking to me. But then I was crying because I miss them so much. And I didn't think they would really remember me enough to be sad. Amy shows them my picture and talks about me so that makes me pretty happy. When I go home to visit they will be almost 3! They will have changed so much. Abby will too (she is 4 now) but I know she remembers me and will still be my friend when I get there. :) 

So missing people from home remains my biggest complaint. But I don't feel lonely. Finding more people to hang out with and more things to do. And my friend Taraleigh is coming to visit me in Sep. and that will be fantastic! 

Have a great week everyone!

My "Aha" moment. (I refuse to watch Oprah anymore but her phrase seemed appropriate to quote)

I had a bit of a revelation this a.m. and needed to share it.

I am here in Guatemala because I feel called by God to be here. And I have to say that getting here was the easy part. I have not started working yet because I am working on the language but when I think about the work I feel called to do (work in a clinic and learn to diagnose and treat) my stomach goes into knots. I am excited but very scared. I feel inadequate, and always have. I have so much to learn and I don't know if I can do it. So right there I am doubting God and his ability to use me. 

This morning while praying I was reminded of Moses. He had an interesting life. I have heard a lot of stories about him but not really studied his life and his works. This morning I read about his calling to lead the Israelites away from the Egyptians. First of all, Moses questioned God 3 times. "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,'  and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"  "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The Lord did not appear to you'?" Before this last sentence God had spent some time explaining what to say and what would happen. And still he worried about it!!! I love it. This from a man who went on the lead hundreds of thousands of people to freedom, the man who brought down the ten commandments, etc. God goes on to show him signs that he can perform to convince them. After that Moses says "I am slow of speech and slow of tongue".

He was terrified! And unbelieving that God would pull through. Or that God could actually use him. He had been a shepherd for years, living by himself with the sheepies. And this is God's reply:

"Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

Wow. Why is it so hard to trust God? And thank God this is recorded in the Bible. To show terrified people like me that there are (and have been) many others out there that were scared and yet were used to accomplish great things. And this is Moses reply after hearing reassurances time and again from God:

"O Lord, please send someone else."

I cried when I read that. He talked to God like I talk to the people around me. He had a "face to bush" conversation with God. Man! If only I could hear God speak that clearly to me! So if Moses was allowed to be scared and unsure of himself then I am too. The only thing is, we both have to be obedient. Moses was and I have to be as well. I am very insecure and unsure of being in such an important role in these people's lives. I want to make a difference and I want people to attribute the difference in my life and their lives, to God. And in order for God to use me I need to obey when it seems unfeasible. At the end when I meet face to face with God these are the words I want to hear: "Well done, good and faithful servant". 

I had better get over myself and trust God that I am doing His will in my life.

Warning: Eating carrot cake in the afternoon has the potential to ruin your appetite for dinner.

Hello all. 

I really have not been eating as many treats. But I ate a really good sugar crusted bagel with chocolate chip cream cheese (breakfast Sunday morning) and I really wanted one today. They were out. I was very disappointed actually. So I had 2 options: eat a cookie for 40 cents or carrot cake for $2.25. Well I was being greedy and went for the cake. What was really embarrassing was when I told Aura I wasn't very hungry at dinner and she asked if it was ice cream or cake that I had eaten. She knows me pretty well I guess (sheepish grin).

It has been a long time since I wrote last! I thought I wouldn't do this again. But I did. 

A couple of weeks ago I went to help Aura and her ladies group hand out food. Mostly it is to people who live far away in the mountains. In the morning I was recording weights and heights and in the afternoon I was doing the measuring and weighing. I had so much fun!!! Some of the kids were a little older (they had been at school in the a.m.) so I could talk to them. Some were pretty talkative. Two cousins approached me and chatted with me for a while. They were really cute! (of course) They were both 6 years old and one needed a little prodding from the other to be brave enough to talk to me. They each had a "boyfriend". I put that in parentheses as I really hope it wasn't true! One boyfriend was 8 and the other was 13. For pete's sake! No wonder they have babies at 13!! But I sure had fun with them. Another little girl was being measured and I said my standard Hi how are you. She said "good thank you". Thank you! I was so impressed!!!! I then told her I liked her sandals and she said thank you again! I could have taken her home then and there. I was talking to her mom and she is only 3 years old! She looked about 5 though. Weird. She didn't say  much more after that but I still loved her. 

By the end of the day my thighs were pretty sore from bending down and getting up again. Actually, the next day I had to lean pretty hard on the railing to get down the stairs they hurt so bad! At the time I thought "I should do lunges every day as I have already done the worst part" (always hurts the most after the first time). I will give you one guess as to whether or not that continued.

Last week I went to visit Ruth and her family. I always love going there. I have started to meet more people but it is so relaxing to be with someone who has known you for so long and doesn't care what you do or don't do. I read a lot of books. Sadly, the kids were sick (Sam mostly) and then Ruth had a really bad cold. I felt so bad for her. 

The first night I was there I arrived just in time for dinner (it was made and we just had to put it on the table. I have impeccable timing!) We had iced tea to drink (my first iced tea since being here and it was really good). I had poured myself a glass and we were all eating when Sam went into the kitchen. He was cutting a lime to put on his glass (as any well cultured 6 year old would). When he came back he had a glass for me as well! The limes here are much smaller so he had cut one in half, and then cut a slit in it to put in on the glass. So it wasn't just a slice it was half a lime. If my camera had been handy I would have taken a picture. It was so very cute!!

I am starting to meet new people. I am not to the point where I can stuff myself with popcorn and M&M's and lay on the coach moaning in the pain in front of the new people and feel okay with that but just give it time. It is so good to meet people who have been here for a while. I have so much to learn from them. 

I watched Mickey Blue Eyes this afternoon. I had forgotten how funny it is! My little brother used to do an impression of Hugh Grant trying to talk like a mobster. "Get outta hee". So funny!!!!!

Tomorrow I finally go to the malnourished kids house. I tried to go last week but it was so big I didn't know where to go. I met a girl at my school who is working there so she will show me around tomorrow. 

Have a great week!

Feliz Cumpleanos Juan Carlos!

Juan Carlos is the father in the house where I live. We had steak, rice, guacamole and cake. Hmmmmm. Oh... and don't forget the beans and tortillas!!! Really, what meal is right without those two things? I found out his favorite chocolate bar is Snickers with peanuts. Yesterday I went and bought 2 with peanuts and one with almonds. Because it was there. And I like almonds. But I seriously bought the almond one for him!!! But last night I was watching a movie and I was hungry and I ate it. :( The last chocolate bar I ate was when I had first got here. This Snickers tasted soooo good! And I would have been fine except that I told on myself today. :( Me and my big mouth. He just laughed. Problem is, he went to a marimba concert and the other two are sitting here on the bed with me!!!! But I don't like the peanut ones as much. 

Not much has been happening with me (Did I say that last time?) School and school and school and watching season 7 of 24. Sadly, I am done now. But the premiere of season 8 is on January 17. For those who didn't know. 

I am taking a few weeks off of school now. I will be volunteering in two different places. One is Herman Pedro, a home for handicapped babies to adults. Some of these kids and babies have families but it is not easy to care for a special needs child here. So they visit them when they can. I went to Hermano Pedro last time I was here but I have not made it there this time yet. But I have contacted a guy that volunteers there a lot and he will take me in this week.  The other is a house for malnourished kids and babies. From what I understand a lot of these kids have families as well. But they need volunteers to help feed, cuddle and work on developmental milestones. Does this not sound right up my alley? :) I am excited about it. 

 Today started out as a bad day and has unexpectedly turned into a great day so far! The last few days I have been feeling a little off. Bored and questioning myself, and throw in a little bit of self-pity (but really only a little) etc. So today I didn't want to go to church. I had been reading my Bible regularly and praying every day and feeling really good about it. Especially the praying. I had a daily prayer list and then another list I rotated through. I have never done that before. And I really liked it. I got out of the habit (which happens to me a lot. I have no self-control). And as a result I feel like my relationship with God has dwindled. I know He is still there for me but I am not there for Him. And this is why I moved to Guatemala. So I see a direct correlation between the two (at least I have some smarts! :)

And today God just threw little things at me to make me happy. For starters I really liked my hair this morning. Not such a big thing but something that made me feel a little better anyway. While I was on the bus to go to church, before we started moving, there was a group of people standing at the curb wanting to cross. The bus driver yelled out he window "Ciudad Vieja" and they had these blank looks on their face and one of them shrugged. Ciudad Vieja means Old City and he was essentially asking if that was where they were going so he could wait for them. This is a little thing but also made me a little happy that I have been here long enough to understand more of what goes on around me and I don't have to feel so "fish out of water"ish. I am sorry my happiness was at the expense of their confusion. I went to church and when I got there there were several teams taking up the back seats so I was mortified to have to sit in the 3rd row from the front!!! I have been getting to church early (by about 10 min) and I don't usually have anyone to visit with so it is awkward. So I was purposely late today. God showed me! But I was happy again as every week I go I understand more of the service and the words that I am singing. And it made me feel less like a visitor and more like I belong here. Then, I really liked what the pastor had to say. Even teared up a little. He pulls no punches and I like that. On the other hand, it is challenging. There are things in my life that need to change. Much as I like to think I do an okay job of being a good person/good christian, I have a LONG way to go. As we all do. But it is on me to change and follow more in God's footsteps. This is a hard task but worthwhile. 

I was invited to the family lunch today and I really feel like I am part of this family here. When Aura introduces me she calls me her older daughter. And I call her my mother. They (but especially Aura) go out of their way to help me out. I have even been invited for Christmas! It helps me feel safe to have a family like them here in Antigua with me. I will be with them until the en of August. They are a good family to live with as we talk all the time. 

And tonight I am going to someone's house for dinner. There is a student at the school who only comes for one hour every day so I don't have a chance to talk to her. We went on a field trip a while ago and I talked with her then. We exchanged numbers but have never hung out. So tonight I am going to her and her husbands place. Yay for friends with cars!!!!

So it turned out to be a good day. And I am praying that my week will go well too. Some new changes are possibly in the works and I won't go into detail but I would appreciate prayer. 

Oh. And I have been itch free for almost 8 weeks now!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that the best news you have heard all day? :) Sadly, the new guy is not. He is allergic to his bites and has quite a few on his legs and arms and back. I, unthinkingly, tried to be helpful and said "Oh I had them really bad for the first 6 weeks I was here". I was trying to tell him that it is not all that unusual to have them but he replied "That is my whole trip!" Oops. 

I tried to think of something funny to write and I couldn't. I have let you all down. If my number of followers decreases I will know why. By the way, if you follow my blog will you "become a follower". Kind of swells my head a little when I know that a lot of people like reading it. Thanks.

Any ideas for a catchy title?

I think I have hit a wall with my Spanish learning. I am sure it has nothing to do with the test I have tomorrow and I have spent all afternoon "cramming" for. :)

I really thought I would overuse this blog and bore people to death with the consistency and color of my poo etc, but I seem to be ignoring it. Sorry little blog and little blog followers! I know how annoying it is to follow a blog that is going nowhere. 

So I have completed 8 1/2 weeks of school now. I bet some of you are saying "Wow she is fluent and can start translating for the government!" But I can't. Unless Jack Bauer was there and then I would try my hardest!!!  Ex. President says to Jack in Spanish "The terrorists are coming. What are you going to do about it?" And I say to Jack, "Jack, the president says that the color of you eyes is luminous and your bulletproof vest fits so nicely over that grey waffle shirt". You get the picture. 

I tell people that I can get by. But I feel like I have been saying that for a long time. So am I really improving? I have to be. I know that. I live with a Spanish family that I talk to at every meal (and in between sometimes. And they are not just "pass the ketchup please" conversations). But now I am wondering how much schooling I need. Right now I am learning the polite way or more refined way to talk. For example, instead of saying "I ate" I can say "I have already eaten." Which is good to learn but at what point do I leave school and just start using it as opposed to learn all the grammatical technicalities. The people I will be working with in the mountains use Spanish as their second language so they will be telling me "I ate." I guess I am still thinking I just need to solidify. Which is what I said several weeks ago. :) Ah well. Just thinking out loud. I have at least 2 1/2 more weeks and then I will re-evaluate then. 

I met a lady on the weekend who I had heard about but not met. We were at a public speaking class. We got together for cake yesterday and talked for a while. She is a nurse as well and came down here 10 years ago. She runs a school for handicapped kids. It sounds great. The student to teacher ratio is low and they have a full time therapist (occupational I think). The interesting thing I got out of it was that when she came she felt called to Guatemala but didn't know in what capacity. Now she has developed this school of about 72 kids and is seeing such great results. She said that if God had told her what she would be doing in the first place she never would have come!!! I am in that spot right now. I have felt called to be here but I don't have the long term plan yet. I feel bad at times when people ask me what I am doing here, who am I here with, etc. and I don't have an answer. I know God will show me in his time but I still wish I had more to tell people! I am trusting in Him. 

I still love being here. I know that I am living relatively comfortably. And I don't know where I will ultimately end up, living in a dirt floor hut or not. But at this point I am going to fully enjoy having a washing machine in my house!!! But I think it is easy to live here. I think this is still God's grace for me. There are a lot of people who would have a hard time with it but I love it. Having said that I will say that I have had my moments of homesickness (or peoplesickness, not home so much). But never so intense that I have said "If I had a ticket right now I would go." I thought my episodes would be more frequent so I am happy about that! 

I was down talking with Aura and and a friend of the family. The friend is a missionary as well. We got talking about the clinic I am going to work in. Aura gave me the idea to write up a plan or curriculum for midwifes here on the care of premature babies. I think this is a great idea! Quite often babies are born early and small or just small and they often die. If I could make up a curriculum to teach midwifes in remote villages I think that would be such a good idea!!! Then they could start educating their patients on the care of their own baby. I am going to start thinking about it and talk with nurses at home about what to include etc. I am really excited. Aura also doesn't want me to leave! She knows that I have plans to move to San Lucas in Sep. so she told me tonight that I should try it for a month or so and if it doesn't work out then I can come back and live with her! Yay! She also invited me for Christmas. We have been talking lately while she makes dinner (I set the table, I don't go near the food. :) and I really enjoy it. It helps me with my Spanish but it is good to have someone to talk to. It is hard to make friends here as most people are transient. Here for a month or so then gone back to North America. 

Today some bees started making a hive right outside my door. I stopped that right quick! The way I stopped it was to have someone else knock it down. :) Then I saw a bee come later and was sniffing around for his new house and I didn't feel sorry for him!

What else have I been doing? Just studying and trying to avoid the coffee shops as I eat too many treats. But when I am here "studying" I get distracted by the internet. I have now limited myself to a daily quota of internet use. 2 hours a day. I started today. I have been quite successful so far. At my half hour break I come home and check facebook etc. I don't think that should count as it is a break and I shouldn't be studying anyway. And writing this blog doesn't count because.... well I am on the internet as I write it but I am not playing. Even though I am not studying. Which is what the purpose of the limit was. So I would study more. But this is part of my "work" down here. :) To keep you all updated on my life. So hah! I still have an hour an a half of internet play time left. Except I think I should still study a little more tonight for my test tomorrow. 

Hope you enjoyed my scattered late, uninteresting update. Will try to be better! 

Naomi

I have every intention of updating my blog...

.....but not tonight. 

I can clearly see your underwear.

This is a quote from the guy who lives in the room next to mine. I had done laundry and hung it on the line. But I wanted to be discreet so I hung my underwear on the racks in my room. So Lori came to chat and then Yutaka came and was sitting in the doorway. All of a sudden in the middle of our conversation he pulls out the line "I can clearly see you underwear". It was pretty funny. Guess I will just hang it on the line next time. It dries faster that way anyway (I just lied. I don't think I can put my underwear out with 6 other guys living in this house).

So I have been terrible about keeping this up. I have heard from a couple of people. :) Sorry. And in less than an hour I am going to help out the surgical team so I don't have much time to write now. And I don't expect to have internet access out there. I will probably be too busy anyway. I am looking forward to it but still a little nervous. I warned the charge nurse that I will be asking a lot of questions. I haven't looked after an adult in the hospital in about 8 years!!! 

It will be nice to have a week off school. But last week went better. I am not feeling so frustrated. And I have been talking a little more with Aura (the mother of the family). I hope to be able to use some of my spanish with the patients this week. I think it will be a good gauge of where I am at. 

I will tell you quickly about my spider drama last night. A couple of days ago my teacher told me how she had to kill a young tarantula in her house (there aren't usually any here). Then yesterday at dinner we were talking about spiders and bugs and scary movies (it was a terrible conversation!). So I was a little jumpy last night. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when Yutaka came up and asked if I had seen the spider in there. Would I be in there if I had?? So he pointed up and I yelled and almost knocked him over trying to get through the door. Unfortunately I yelled a bad word and even more unfortunate was that Aura knew what it was (but she thought it was funny). So I scared him back into his hole. Yutaka and Juan Carlos (the dad in the family) sprayed a bunch of Raid in the hole but I think he got far in there and I don't think he is dead. So I am keeping an eye out for him. 

When I got into my room I reached across my bed to the little shelf where I keep my jammies. There was a big one on the wall!!!! (although I was informed at breakfast it wasn't that big) So I yelled for Yutaka and he came in to help me (I didn't know he is a little afraid of spiders as well). Being the good guy he is he hit it with my shoe. But it didn't die, just fell. So we were puling out DVD's to look for him and Yutaka was on the bed (to grab the DVD's) and I saw the spider on the bed. So I told him and he moved really fast!!!!!! All my yelling brought Aura and Juan Carlos (and this is all at 10 at night) and the bottle of Raid. So Yutaka used the raid (I could hardly breathe) and he still wasn't dying. So Juan Carlos whacked him with my shoe and took him out. Then he very kindly searched my bed (we changed the sheets and blanket) and surrounding areas for more. I have to tell you I was pretty scared to turn out the light. But my sister said it was better with the light off because then I wouldn't see them. HA! What does she know. She isn't here worrying that spiders will crawl in her mouth in the middle of the night! (Sorry Elaine. Probably should have stopped you a long time ago).

So that was my drama. 

I better go. Have a good week all!!!

Did I mention I don't like soup?

This story is a bit embarrassing to admit. I had fooled myself a little into thinking I could get by okay in restaurants and stores etc. Today after church I went to a typical Guatemala restaurant. I went there years ago with some friends. The menu was only in Spanish but that initially didn't faze me. Last week for dinner a friend and I went to a restaurant that had only spanish. But I ordered pasta and that is pretty easy to translate. I couldn't figure out what anything was except the nachos!!! I felt like I had really done well in fooling my waiter into thinking I could speak Spanish and I didn't want to ask him what each thing was. Three north american girls came in and I asked them if they knew what it all said. She said she would try but she was no better than I at understanding. So I ordered something with chicken and rice. Can't go wrong can you! Ya, you can. It was soup. It did not say "sopa" in the description and the other soups did. Just as the food was arriving the girl at the next table brought her dictionary over for me to use. But I had just figured out what I had ordered so I didn't use it. I ate it and it was okay. I had wanted fried chicken. So I let myself order a banana liquado (like a milkshake) for my dessert. It made me feel happy. :)

It is funny going to church. Well, not funny. I like it but the funny part is that I am able to gauge my progress in Spanish by how much I understand each week. I understand the songs better and when the cute really short little old lady gets up to pray I understand more of what she says. The sermon is spoken first in English then translated. The girl translating speaks SO fast but I get bits and pieces here. I had heard she changes little things sometimes (gets numbers mixed up or expands on something) and today I caught a few things she expanded. And when the guy speaking (guest speaker) said the bit about heaven he said where wolves lie down with the lambs and she changed it to lions and lambs. Kind of funny. :)

This week has been a good one. It is sure nice to have other people around to run my errands with me and to do fun things too of course. :)

Yesterday I met with Anita and Greg. They are the ones who run the medical clinic I want to work at in January. Their web site address is http://hands-of-hope.com/s/  I got really excited talking to them. There is a lot to learn and she is willing to help me out. She doesn't do the clinic 5 days a week so there is another clinic she knows of that might need some help. And they know of some orphanages who would like to have someone come in once a week or something like that. That would be fun I think. There is also a midwife who works there. I am hoping she is willing to train me in all she knows. I would have loved to taken a midwifery course before I came down here but you know, life gets busy. So I got very excited and wished January was here! I can start whenever but I wanted to wait until my language skills are more advanced. So I will evaluate later. I still have 7 weeks of Spanish school scheduled. I have to be better by then!!! 

Off I go to study. It has to be done. :( As exciting as it is to learn a new language, and as motivated I am to know the language, what it boils down to is this: It is still school. And I don't like school. (I know you are thinking suck it up princess!) But it is my job right now. So I will do it (do you hear the martyrdom in my voice?)

Have a good week guys!!!!

Why I need to learn the language.

Today I got a little frustrated.  I have been sick and don't have much of a voice today. Actually, I have no voice. If I whisper I am okay but when I try to talk occasionally a nasty squeak comes out. Juan Carlos (the dad at the house where I am living) said at lunch that I sounded like a rooster when I laugh. Nice eh?

But that is not the source of my frustration. Well, I was frustrated but that is not the point of this post. :)

I was talking with my teacher this morning in class. I don't remember how we started talking about it but she was telling me that when she takes her birth control, if she forgets a day she takes two the next morning. I was horrified and thought I would educate her. I told her what I knew and she said "But the doctor told me this. And he is a specialist for women." He said if you forget 2 days in a row then take 2 each morning for the next two days to catch up. That will keep her from getting pregnant. So what do I say? I don't want her to lose all trust in her doctor if she does believe me. But it is so wrong! So the frustration came in when I couldn't adequately explain what I wanted to because of my lack of language skills. Then she says to me "I have destroyed my body because I have been doing this for 10 years" I scared the crap out of her. It was terrible. Limited vocabulary. So I reassured her somewhat. But it definitely made me think I am right in getting these language skills down before I start working with people in a medical capacity. 

When I do work with people it will be with people who don't have access to any health care so I may not run into this problem much. But how do you educate people who have been doing things a certain way for generations. Without offending them. I don't know. I have a lot to learn. Even with my being sick I have heard a LOT of advice on what I should and shouldn't be doing. Pregnancy here is my favorite. The women are to lay in bed for 30 days. I think something (like a scarf I think) is supposed to be on their head, and they aren't to do anything laborious at all. Now this may sound sort of great but only for a day or two. And it slows recovery. AND they are not supposed to drink anything cold so that their milk doesn't come out cold for the baby. You can't just walk up and say "That is ridiculous." You would get no where. So I will watch and learn from others who have successfully gone before me. 

Tonight we were talking at dinner about the situation here in Guatemala. It has been in the news in the US a bit. Not sure if it made it all the way north. :) The president has been accused of being behind several killings (3 in particular). The lawyer of a man that was assassinated earlier this year was killed last Sunday. He made a tape before he died (think The Pelican Brief) outlining what happened with his client (who was killed along with his daughter to make it look a little more random). I didn't get all of it but the gov't (President and wife) wanted him to front for illegal money laundering (I think). He wouldn't and was subsequently shot. This lawyer knew it was coming and had plans to leave the country that Monday. Apparently there are FBI agents here to investigate further.

The gov't here is very corrupt. Juan Carlos was explaining  a bit of it. And of course I couldn't understand everything but he basically said that there is money out there. It is just being skimmed off as it works it's way down the line. Each gov't worker it passes takes a cut and by the time the money (or materials) that is for the people gets to where it is supposed to go, it hardly exists. So sad. This will never turn around quickly, if it does at all, but this past Sunday more than 30,000 gathered to protest against the gov't. Whether it will do anything I don't know. But even as a moral boost I would think it would be somewhat effective. 

I finished reading Three Cups of Tea. The authors theory is that education is vital for change. I tend to agree. While I am here to help keep people alive and healthy, I think that any contributions I can make towards educating kids would be good. That is the only way change can come about. But this is a slow process taking years and even generations I believe. 

So. That is some of my thoughts for you to think about. It is so easy to ignore this stuff. And even being here there is not a lot I can do about the second half of my rant. But educating people as I can will be my goal (once I can speak Spanish :).

Other than that. I have felt two earthquakes here now. They have been 5.2-5.3. Pretty fun actually. A lot of people here get scared because in 1976 (I think) there was a large earthquake that ruined most of Antigua and killed a lot of people. That is why there are so many ruins here. And Antigua used to be the capital but was moved to where Guatemala City is now because of it. But in my ignorance, I think they are kind of fun. :)

I have been pretty bored the first half of the week. I was sick for a couple of days and now I have lost my voice but I feel fine. So maybe that was part of the problem. I seem to be okay now. I finally unpacked my thing (and organized, which I LOVE to do). And I studied this afternoon (which I had kind of been ignoring, while being bored). So I feel like I am back. Just one little slip in the road. Might even reward myself with some ER tonight. :)

A few of us went out to a restaurant last night to listen to some live music. It was really good. I enjoyed it. It was open mic night so the first couple of people were English and then there were a couple of Guatemalan's who sang and played. And this weekend Lori (student here) and I are going out for treats. It is probably a good thing she studies in the afternoon and I study in the morning. Otherwise we might be going for treats a lot!

Well this is really long. Hope you have made it this far. I am not usually a political talker but when it affects the people I am serving in a negative way I tend to get a little fired up. 

Have a good night all! (or morning, or afternoon or whenever you read this)

Naomi

I am so happy!!!!

Yesterday I got to the new house I will be staying at. I knew they had wireless internet so the first thing I unpacked was my computer. I had a good signal reading but it couldn't load an internet page. I did the "diagnostics" and it said the internet was working fine. If it was fine why couldn't I play like I wanted to!!!! I was pretty disapointed. One of my roomates said I could use his while he was gone. I just had to lock the door on my way out of his room. How great is that! Then this morning I very very selfishly prayed for the internet to work. I am embarased about it but I wanted to give credit where credit was due. :) And I turned it on and here I am writing to you! 

This is exciting for a few reasons but the biggest is that most people I want to chat with are busy during the day and I don't go out at night to use the internet. So now I can keep in better touch with people through MSN and facebook chat. And if I could figure out how to get my Skype to work down here then that would be even more fantastic!!! (when I click on it it gives me a question mark. What is it asking? If I want to talk to all my friends? Or if I just want to give Skype a little attention with a click? Really. It should be obvious :)

Yesterday when I was on the chicken bus from Guatemala City to Antigua the guy came to collect my money. I didn't know how much it was so I asked. He leaned over the lady next to me, formed his lips and very slowly and loudly said "ocho (eight)". It cracked me up. Usually I have to ask people to slow down but not this guy. Then a guy came on at one of the stops and started selling pens. They were little 4 color pens. His sales pitch was fantastic. He was saying "there is red, black, green, blue" "You can use it anywhere, the house, the street, etc" He said they were only 2 quetzales each. "That is 50 centavos each color!" He was really working the bus. He said a lot more but I forget. The guy in front of me bought one. Not sure about the rest of the bus. But at least it worked for him. 

I have to go brush my teeth and get going. I phoned a couple last night that I met a long time ago and asked them for a ride to church. That took some deep breathing. I hate making phone calls to people I don't know. Especially when I have to ask for a favor. I will take the bus after this, I just can't remember where to get off. Wasn't paying attention last time. 

Happy Sunday all!!! 

Naomi

Faaaaaaaall on your kneeeeeees!!!!

I am listening to Christmas music. I have Ruth's iTunes on and it happened to come up. I am not complaining. I love Christmas music. I used to love singing really loud to music as well but now I don't. Have I gotten too old? I used to sing so loud and animatedly in my car that people thought I was crazy. I hated summer because I had to decrease the volume (of my singing) at stoplights because my windows were open. I have purposely tried to sing loudly at music I love while in my car (well, used to) and it just wasn't the same. I was sad about it.

This has been a good week. I am visiting Ruth but not staying at her house this time. I am staying at the guest house. It has been such a relaxing week. Waking up early still but I get to lay around in bed and it is such a comfy bed!!!! And Ruth has a lot of books so I have been doing a lot of reading (which I love). I have to go back to school next week. I hope the break has been good for my brain and not a hinderance. I really thought I would study more while I was here. :)

I did some fun "cultural" things while I was here. Ruth and Walter kept bugging me about all my cultural learning. On Mother's Day the youth group made over 300 tamales for the church. I watched some of the two day process. It is a lot of work!!! Then on Tuesday the school put on a Mother's Day program. I got to go as an auntie. :) It is so much fun to watch kids you love in a production. Kathe was a teacher and Sam was a cow. It was great. And Sam's teacher asked if I was his auntie. She said he talks about me a lot. :) Yay. I love these kiddos.

Today we had Kathe's birthday party at the school. It was a lot of fun! Ruth bought this enormous Belle pinata (it was bigger than Kathe) and there were some pretty experienced pinata swingers. Then we had food and I made a bunch of balloon animals for the kiddos.

Kathe got a bunch of presents (of course). One was a live chicken. It is a teenager I think. I had a bit of a scare when I peeked into the box. That was probably the last thing I thought would be in there. Ruth said the family didn't have any money for a present and raised chicken's so gave her one. Wow. Can you imagine? It blew my mind a little on how big a present that was.

I went shopping for Kathe's corte (the traditional skirt that Guatemalan's wear. She got a traditional skirt too but I don't remember the name for that). It was fun. She picked a nice bright pink one. We had to buy sandals to go along with it. Kathe was sooooo excited. It was fun to watch. And, she looks fantastic in it!!! She wore it today. I will put pictures up on facebook as I don't feel like taking the time to figure it out right now.

Tomorrow I go back to Antigua. :( I will be staying with a different family. I met them before I left last week. I think I will be happy there. They have wireless internet!!!!! I can pretty much handle anything to have internet at night! On my own computer!!! They also have...... a washing machine! Wow. Are you guys as excited as I am? I knew it. :) They seem really friendly and there were several other students there that seemed pretty happy too.

Ruth forwarded me an e-mail a while back about a surgery team that was coming down that was short on nurses. I e-mailed them and so for 5 days in June I will be a recovery room nurse. That kind of scares me as I am a NICU nurse. But I think it will be fun. They are paying my expenses for that week too.

But other than that, life will be back to normal next week. I have decided to do at least 8 more weeks of language lessons. I need it! I thought I would practice some while I was here but it is so easy to have Ruth translate for me. So as much as I love her I need to get away from her! She is my enabler!!! (of speaking English :)

I am off now. Have a great weekend!!!!!

Naomi

Cutting back.

I am cutting back on internet, therefore there will be less of these. Sorry stalkers.

I don't have a lot of time right now. 

I am heading to Ruth's on Saturday so hopefully I will have time to write more then. Although.... I may be too busy playing with cute little kiddos. 

Hope you are all having a great week!

Naomi

To help the economy or not to help the economy.

Today I learned how to hand wash my clothes. Once when I was in Europe and DESPERATE for clean clothes Taraleigh and I hand washed some clothes in the sink in a hotel in Paris. It didn't work very well. I paid just under $10. Canadian for a week and a half's worth of clothes. I thought that was way too much! It was in a laundry mat and they did it for me and folded and everything but if I am going to be a hard core missionary I can wash my own clothes!!!!! My teacher offered to show me how. 

So today she came over. She kept saying "see, very easy". And it did look easy. I would like to repeat the work LOOKED. After she showed me a couple of times she let me try. It was terrible!! My back was hurting after the first shirt! And my arms too. And I had 2 weeks worth of shirts! If I wash my own I may wear them more than one day in a row. So I took sooo long that when I went to hang up my 2nd shirt she got in there and whipped the rest of them off for me. I just had to hang them up. And by the time I had hung it up and come back she was almost done the next one! Crazy. She finished them off but left my undies to me. I am off to buy her a box of chocolate covered cocoa beans as a thank you present. 

So, do I wash my own clothes by hand or support the lady down the road that runs the lavenderia. Well, the one I went to. There are a ton. But she needs to make money too and where would she be if we all decided to wash our own clothes??!! Or maybe I will just offer to buy Sandra a box of chocolates each week if she does my laundry for me. :) She is a single mom of a 2 year old. 

I gave it a try folks. If I become more hard core and live in a small town with no laundry services I will try again. Wait, if I do that I will still support the economy by hiring a lady to do it for me. :) There are always people who need the work. 

So that is all I will write today.

Except that yesterday on my way home from Higher Grounds I saw Sandra in the street. We started walking together. We stopped at a corner to wait for the buses to pass. Then she pointed out the local pila's to me. They are big sinks, with a water part in the middle and on the left they have the bumpy bits to rub your clothes on to get them clean. When people don't have water in their homes they go there to do laundry. And more. One lady was washing herself. With her shirt off. Would it be a fun game for me to keep track of the body parts I see while here. In a non-medical capacity of course. Today I saw another man peeing. But that was my 5th time. Once you see it once you've seen it a hundred times. So I don't think that counts. 

Goodnight all.

3rd post in one day. I am on a roll!

I officially have a blog follower I don't know! Pretty excited about it. So Terry you should feel honored. :) 

Fun facts about Guatemala for those who haven't been here:

toilet paper goes in the garbage can (wrap poopie ones in new paper first)

Internet is 4-5 quetzale an hour. There are 6 Q in a dollar (Canadian)

Pedestrians do not have the right of way

I have still managed to find really good chocolate (that speaks more of my talent not about Guatemala) I have also found rootbeer (both of these are in the coffee place I often frequent so it wasn't hard. It is geared for us North Americaners)

It is not unusual to see 4-5 people on a scooter

No seat belts required

Pollo Campero has good greasy chicken

Does anyone even care anymore? :)

Have a great weekend all! And don't forget to look at the other two posts below that I wrote first.

Look below for another post from today.

Hey all.

Now I get into the deep stuff.

On Saturday a.m. Gail and Al picked me up in Antigua to take me to Tecuaco. There were four guys who had been working just outside of Antigua who were also going home. She told me that the guy I was sitting next to had just lost his 3 year old nephew. The funeral was that afternoon as the body is required to be buried within 24 hours. I was sad but didn't dwell on it much then.

Visited at Al and Gail's (there are other families living on their property) for a while. We went to meet the family as they were walking form Ijorga to the cemetery. We walked almost all the way to the town before we met the procession. 

(Side note: I was wearing a skirt and it was hot. I have gained some weight in the last few years. My thighs were rubbing together and it was very uncomfortable. So I was walking with just the bottom of my legs. Trying not to move my thighs. Cute eh?)

Once I saw all the people I started to cry. They were carrying the little guy in a small box attached to two long bamboo poles. The grandma was in the back and Gail knows her fairly well. She was a mess. Put her arms around both of us and we walked that way for a while (then she needed to wipe her eyes so had to let go of me). I didn't have kleenex and was crying pretty hard. The little guy was at the front of the procession so there was a constant visible reminder of why we were there (not that I would have forgotten). I have not been to many funerals and not any recently. It was very emotionally draining. I kept thinking of friend's kids that I have. The more personal I made it the more difficult it was. I knew I shouldn't but this was no longer a nameless, faceless child. I have heard words like "3000 killed in earthquake" or "500 kids die of AIDS or starvation or something else every day" or "Children dying from lack of medical care". It is now personal. Families grieve. More people than we ever realize are affected by it. 

He had previously had an intestinal infection that he was treated for. The family had taken them to Al and Gail's house when he was sick. This time they were out of town. Not to say it would have been different had they been there. But they couldn't afford to go to a doctor. He possibly had pneumonia. One of the ladies that went to the same church they go to said he had a cough and pain in his chest. Think about that. A 3 year old dies from pneumonia. You would never see that at home. Ever. (unless there were additional mitigating circumstances). 

We went to the cemetery and they lowered him and covered him with dirt. There were no words said. Everyone just kind of left. Gail was telling me that that is why they really want a nurse or doctor come work in their town. I heard it but was too sad to process it.

The next day I realized that this is why I am here. I am here so that kids don't die of a "cough and a sore chest". I am going to reduce the little boxes that get buried. At times that seems overwhelming. So much goes on here and sooo many places need help. Choosing where to go and what to do could be difficult. But I need to trust that God brought me here and he will go before me. He will let me know where I need to go and what I need to do. But as I write this I don't want you to think I am flippant about it. It is hard to trust and potentially say no to someone in need in the future. 

I have also been seeing people here in a different light. Lives are really hard down here. And I am not even in a "hard" place to live. For me as a white person I am living in luxury. I have so many possessions that I brought down thinking I "needed". I am ashamed at the amount of stuff I have. Is there a feasible way out of poverty? Guess if there was someone smarter than me would have figured it out and put it into practice already. I don't know what I thought but I wasn't prepared to have such strong feelings of sadness for what is around me. But that is what I need right? I need to have my eyes open to what goes on around me so I change make a small change in my immediate vicinity. 

So that is my deep stuff. Lots to think about. 

And the scorpion comment on the post below is because I saw scorpion guts. And they were brown. Gail happened to be in the bathroom with me (I was trying to beat her to the bathroom so I wasn't the last one up and she pushed past me and won. I was in there with her to potentially disturb her peeing but those who know her will laugh at me. Didn't faze her. I turned around). When she was done peeing she was standing in the door and I was still berating her for beating me to the toilet when she in one amazingly fast and fluid motion grabbed my shoulder with one hand to move me over and with the other hand she took her sandal off and smushed the scorpion that was on the wall right next to the toilet. She peed with a scorpion 3 feet from her head. Ah! So I was glad she beat me to the toilet. 

Well, have I lost anyone yet? Sorry, not much else to do today. Trying to avoid the rain. It has been raining for over an hour (maybe 2 by now) and it wasn't when I left the house. It was hot so I have no jacket! And my towel is on the line and I wanted to have a shower tonight but it will be all wet. Guess I will in the morning. 

I have other things to write but I will do another post. Don't want too many funnies in with my heavy post.